My Life*

Let’s get something straight: being me isn’t always fun. SURPRISE! I’M HUMAN! I GET ACNE AND CRY OVER FINANCE HOMEWORK AND DEFINITELY DON’T KNOW WHAT THE F**K I AM DOING MOST TIMES!

But you probably already knew that.

Something I really struggle with in this Age of Social Media is balancing being honest and being aesthetically pleasing. I’d love to be completely oblivious to maintaining a good theme or being funnier or sounding smarter than the next blogger or Instagrammer or whatever it may be… But I’m not. And I greatly envy those who have the ability to do so.

The problem with being on social media is that it’s easy to get sucked into the trap of envying how another person’s life looks; they went on a wild trip to Spain? God, I wish I could do that. They own 16 pairs of limited edition Adidas sneakers? God, I wish I could own that. They drink and eat and hang out in the coolest spots in town that I’ve never even heard of? God, I wish I was cool.

It sounds ridiculous written out, doesn’t it?

That’s my point, though. Social media in many ways can be a platform for inspiration, a place to look at amazing art and photography, a place where you can expose yourself to perspectives and lives and places you couldn’t easily do given geographical or financial limitations. But it’s also dangerous for those of us who have a tendency to fall down the rabbit hole of comparison. I personally had to unfollow a lot of accounts that made me feel insecure about my looks, my body, my eating and exercise habits, my financial situation, etc. just to keep myself from ending up slumped over in bed, wishing I could look like this celebrity or that model.

As I’ve gotten more comfortable with myself, I feel like I can let myself scroll through these pages and see all of the posts with a grain of salt. But it makes me wonder if people look at me that way. I don’t at all assume that’s the case, but if I do it with even some of my closest friends and loved ones on occasion, who’s to say they don’t either? And what does that mean when I think about what I’m going to post? God forbid someone see I have a zit on my forehead or look a bit bloated. On days like that, I’d generally refrain from posting all together to save myself the guilt of posting a picture from a different day when I was looking subjectively better than I looked that day (for more on that read THIS post).

My Instagram below doesn’t reflect the fact that I felt disgusting in the first picture but jut happened to look half decent in the shot. It doesn’t reflect that the second picture was taken when I was stressed to the max about work stuff I had due the following day. The third picture doesn’t reflect that I was freezing and annoyed and feeling off the whole day. You get the point. What I post (taking Instagram stories out of the equation) isn’t necessarily a real-time sneak peek into some glorious, aesthetically pleasing life I (don’t) live.

All of this to say, what I post isn’t always a true reflection of when and where and why I post it. I mean, half the time the pictures I post aren’t even posted within the same day. It makes me feel a bit fraudulent, honestly, like I’m not showing people a real peak into my life.

I guess that’s kind of the game we all play with social media, though. I try to be honest in my life (this blog included) and I’ve made the promise to myself to start being a bit more honest with myself as well as to how I want to be perceived on here, on Instagram, etc. But I also encourage everyone to take a second to wonder why we care so much about our social media presence and the things we see from the people we follow; it’s not a real reflection, it’s Life* where the asterisk has so many endless lenses and smoke and mirrors.

I am not in the slightest bagging on social media (I mean, how the hell else would I sit through a 30 minute commute without shamelessly watching dog videos or reading recipe posts), I’m just saying… Where does the line get drawn with how much we let it affect us?

Talk about it below, talk about it with the people around you and hear what they have to say, hell, talk about it on social media. What motivates you to post what you do? Expectation or inspiration, or maybe something totally different.